‘Tis the season for holiday office parties, when eager employees get the perfect opportunity to cozy up to their bosses – or ruin their reputations.
Offering a toxic mix of free booze, pent-up frustration and awkward interactions, these festive soirees have been providing the grist for office gossip mills for decades.
They also have left careers in tatters.
Holiday parties are very dangerous; a person can ruin his or her career in just one cocktail party overload.
In order to help you avoid committing an office party disaster, follow my advice – don’t do any of the following:
1. Don’t get wasted. Pounding brewskies and shooting tequila may have made you the king of your college frat parties, but ending an office party with your underwear on your head will get you few plaudits at work. Drink slowly and have just one or two drinks. Better yet, plain club soda or soft drinks are ALWAYS safe.
2. No kissy face with colleagues. Even if you’ve been salivating for months over the guy or gal two cubicles away, now is not the time to make your move. Whether you get to first base or get rejected, the result will be the same: you’ll become the butt of jokes for weeks, maybe even months.
3. Curb your inner stripper. A little dirty dancing will certainly get your boss’ attention. But you’re much better off impressing everyone with your mind rather than a bump and grind – even a silly one.
4. Invite the right date. Who you roll with reflects who you are. That guy or gal who doesn’t bathe regularly is a no-no. So is anyone who is covered in facial tattoos or piercings or includes the words “like”, “dude”, “yo” or “son” in every sentence.
5. Dress appropriately. This is the time to relax with your co-workers, not show off that new hip-hugging skirt, groin hugging trousers, any new Victoria Secrets, Calvins or C-IN2 Sling Support Lo No Show Profile Briefs. Keep your flesh covered. Cheers!