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December 7, 2008

Holiday Office Party Etiquette – How Not To Lose It!

office-party-song ‘Tis the season for holiday office parties, when eager employees get the perfect opportunity to cozy up to their bosses – or ruin their reputations.

Offering a toxic mix of free booze, pent-up frustration and awkward interactions, these festive soirees have been providing the grist for office gossip mills for decades.

They also have left careers in tatters.

office-party Holiday parties are very dangerous; a person can ruin his or her career in just one cocktail party overload.

In order to help you avoid committing an office party disaster, follow my advice – don’t do any of the following:

1. Don’t get wasted. Pounding brewskies and shooting tequila may have made you the king of your college frat parties, but ending an office party with your underwear on your head will get you few plaudits at work. Drink slowly and have just one or two drinks.  Better yet, plain club soda or soft drinks are ALWAYS safe.

2. No kissy face with colleagues. Even if you’ve been salivating for months over the guy or gal two cubicles away, now is not the time to make your move. Whether you get to first base or get rejected, the result will be the same: you’ll become the butt of jokes for weeks, maybe even months. 

3. Curb your inner stripper. A little dirty dancing will certainly get your boss’ attention. But you’re much better off impressing everyone with your mind rather than a bump and grind – even a silly one.

4. Invite the right date. Who you roll with reflects who you are. That guy or gal who doesn’t bathe regularly is a no-no. So is anyone who is covered in facial tattoos or piercings or includes the words “like”, “dude”, “yo” or “son” in every sentence.

5. Dress appropriately. This is the time to relax with your co-workers, not show off that new hip-hugging skirt, groin hugging trousers, any new Victoria Secrets, Calvins or C-IN2 Sling Support Lo No Show Profile Briefs. Keep your flesh covered. Cheers!



  1. Hi – That was funny. I won’t be attending any office parties this year unless my sole proprietor business decides to have one. I could do all the above mentioned things except that I would need a blow up doll of some sort for some of these. One thing for sure. Everything will be kept secret and the boss won’t mind 🙂

    Comment by Cats r Flyfishn — December 9, 2008 @ 7:36 pm | Reply

    • Hi Cats – I am always shocked at how inappropriate people can be at office parties – it’s almost funny. 🙂

      I think your party of one plus your spouse will be outrageous!!!

      Comment by Paulette — December 10, 2008 @ 11:21 am | Reply

  2. You know Paulette, you are probably right about my business office party. 🙂

    It takes a long time for your page to download. I think it might have something to do with all the videos. Your threads use to collapse and I always wonder how it managed to do that. It certainly makes the page load quickly and I always checked all you threads anyway 🙂

    I’m getting nervous about attending the inauguration. Normally, it is a 2.5 hour trip to Washington DC. I’m afraid it will turn into a 6 hour trip on Jan 20, 2009.

    Comment by Cats r Flyfishn — December 11, 2008 @ 8:57 pm | Reply

    • Cats – your group will have to add a LOT of cushion time for the ride to DC on 1.20.09.

      I am staying in Richmond. First it is waaay cheaper and two I don’t want to stay in the middle of the crowds. I hear that restaurants will most likely run out of food, etc, etc, etc.

      Because I’ll be in Richmond I will have to get up extra early, drive to the Metro and take that into DC. I even ordered my metro cards on-line so I don’t have to join the lines (which will be crazy I’m sure!).

      As for my blog being slow – it must be the videos and pictures. I haven’t done anything to the blog, that’s my only guess. Do you have problem loading other sites with videos? Bruce has lots of videos and pics – does his load slowly for you? If not then I’ll contact the help desk and see if there’s a glitch on the blog somewhere. I am so not a techie… 🙂

      I have been so swamped these past weeks I haven’t had time to post much despite the richness and the high drama caused by Governor Blagoidiot and the missus.

      Talk with you soon!


      Comment by Paulette — December 12, 2008 @ 12:34 pm | Reply

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