Bill Maher On Jay Leno: Emails — Mark Foley vs Gov Mark Sanford

In June 2009 Governor Mark Sanford, Republican from South Carolina, admitted that he had conducted an extramarital affair with a woman in Argentina who he had gone to visit in Argentina three times during the past year.  “I have been unfaithful to my wife . . . I developed a relationship with what started as a dear dear friend,” said Sanford.

He said that he had met Maria Belen Shapur roughly eight years ago and that it had become romantic within the last year.

In September 2006 Mark Foley, Republican Congressman from Florida, sent sexually explicit email and instant messages to a 16 year old male congressional page from Monroe, Louisiana as well as to other congressional pages.

This is sad but funny.  Watch Bill and Jay read some of the emails.

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LeBron James “RIDICULOUS” Half Court Shot – 60 Minutes

Steve Kroft of 60 Minutes interviewed King James for this week’s broadcast.  While they walked the court at the King’s old high school in Akron, Ohio James bounced a basketball. “Are you going to do anything with this?” asks Kroft.

Before Kroft barely finishes the sentence, James nonchalantly flips the ball underhanded at the backcourt hoop about 60 feet away and SWISH!!! — Nothing but net!

“You got it?” asks a smiling James to the cameraman.

“How many times can you do that in a row? asks a dazzled Kroft. “I’m one take, baby, that’s all. I’m just one take,” laughed James.

Watch the full interview this Sunday, March 29 at 7pm EST on CBS.

Don’t Make President Obama Angry — Meet The Rock Obama!!!

 

What’s President Obama like when he’s angry?  “Stronger and more impulsive,” according to Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson who guest-hosted Saturday Night Live and parodied the President.

The skit was pretty funny and had me fantasizing that our sophisticated and distinguished President would really throw some of the Republican idiots out the Oval Office’s window! 🙂

I think that both Fred Armisen’s and Andy Samberg’s portrayal of President Obama and Rahm Emanuel are weak.  Rahm is constantly fidgeting and restless – Samberg showed none of those tendancies.  I also believe that Armisen is morphing the Obama and Paterson voices.

Click the link below to watch the skit.

http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/the-rock-obama/1056126/

Rush Limbaugh PUNKS Michael Steele

Is Michael Steele (the man of steel) now the aluminum man?  Did the Republicans punk the RNC Chairman and elect him just to be their pawn to use as collateral at their will to make the public-at-large believe that the Republicans are ready for ‘change’?

Steele won the Republican National Committee chairmanship on the strength of his alluring rhetoric but his oratory got him in trouble.  He called radio personality Limbaugh “incendiary,” “ugly” and “an entertainer!” Aluminum also insisted that the radio personality is not the de facto leader of the Republican Party.

The entertainer took the statement that he was not the de facto leader of the elephants as a compliment, retorting on the air, “I would be embarrassed to say that I’m in charge of the Republican Party in the sad-sack state that it’s in.”

But the rest of Aluminum’s statement did not go over well with the radio personality. So the GOP’s new face did a quick about-face after the personality gave him a tongue lashing on air.  The punk of a GOP chairman sat around fretfully and as soon as the radio personality got off the air 51 minutes later Aluminum was on the phone APLOGIZING for being a very bad subject and licking the entertainer’s boots. That proves two things to me – Michael Steele has NO juice in the Republican Party and Limbaugh the entertainer is not the sad-sack party’s de facto leader, but its actual leader.

What is extremely interesting to me is that no Republicans have come to Steele’s defense – not even one.  They all seem to have developed a severe case of laryngitis or have become mutes — when it comes to Steele’s defense anyway.  Can you imagine, the Republicans elected Steele four weeks ago and they have already abandoned, discarded and forsaken him because of Limbaugh’s bark.

What will now happen to the outreach to ‘urban-suburban hip-hop settings’ via an ‘off the hook’ public relations campaign that Steele promised? 🙄

Steele’s comments:

Lambuagh’s response:

The Views’ view:

LeBron James – The World’s Greatest Basketball Player SCHOOLS GQ Staffers

  My nine year old nephew Elijah (a H-U-G-E Kobe fan!) will vehemently disagree with the title of this post.  But Elijah, Auntie is merely using GQ’s words. 

I LOVE GQ magazine.  Even though it’s a “men’s” magazine I rarely miss a month.  This is a well written piece that had me living vicariously through the “GQ 6” and it had me chuckling to the end.  I’m with my nephew – I think Kobe is totally awesome, but so is LeBron :-).

Six pale, earthbound desk jockeys from GQ challenged the greatest basketball player on earth, also known as LeBron James, to a game of basketball at the time and place of his choosing. Unfortunately, the challenge was accepted

In retrospect, obviously, it was too good to be true, but in the grip of the fantasy we didn’t see it that way. We spent long stretches of our workdays talking about how there are five of us and only one of him, or how Trent and Will are nearly as tall as he is, or how one man, I don’t care if he is the greatest basketball player on earth, can only cover so much ground. It’s not like he’s a Transformer.

Andy, our executive editor/player-coach/liaison to LeBron’s publicist and the Cavaliers’ PR folks, sent us the following e-mail in late November: “It is on. Team GQ will be traveling from New York City to Cleveland, Ohio (in a van, make and model to be determined), on Sunday, December 7. We will be playing LeBron James, five-on-one, at 1 p.m. on Monday, December 8, at the Cavs practice facility. I repeat: It. Is. ON.”

The predictable flurry of YouTube clips soon followed—LeBron dunking from the free-throw line, LeBron blocking a shot by Chris Duhon all the way out to half-court, LeBron taking flight from ten feet out and throwing down a dunk of such unrestrained fury over Damon Jones that it will forever be the most memorable moment of Jones’s NBA career. Again, Andy via e-mail: “If we’re lucky, he’ll just jump over us, and we won’t suffer the indignity of taking his junk square in the face.”

But then Adam started in with the X’s and O’s—how we need to force LeBron left, how three-pointers are his Achilles’ heel, and how he, Adam Rapoport, style editor at Gentlemen’s Quarterly and occasional wearer of skinny white jeans, was prepared to take the charge if LeBron drove into the lane. Over the next week or so, as plans solidified (we would be driving to Cleveland not in a van but in an Escalade, a hybrid Escalade!), the delusional chatter continued. There was even talk at one point of “allowing” him a teammate—one of his Akron boys, maybe—because five-on-one couldn’t possibly be a game, and it would be kind of embarrassing if we beat him too handily. At the very least, we all agreed (with the exception of Andy, who is always the voice of reason, and Fred, who’s been around longer than the rest of us and possesses a veteran’s hard-earned wisdom): Mr. Chosen One was going to have to work to make it a game. We weren’t driving eight hours to look like a bunch of assclowns.

you can see the Nike billboard from the interstate. LeBron’s massive, striated arms outstretched, a faint halo of chalk dust surrounding him as he gazes skyward. It’s ten stories high and 212 feet wide and dominates the eastern face of the Sherwin-Williams building, which is basically across the street from Quicken Loans Arena, or the Q, where the Cavs play their home games. Last year, federal officials tried to force the city to take it down because it violates the 1965 Highway Beautification Act, which apparently forbids a billboard from being within 660 feet of a major highway. (Technically, the dispute was over a previous version of the banner, an equally stunning if less messianic image of LeBron in midflight, the ball cocked high above his head.) But to his great credit, Ohio’s governor, Ted Strickland, refused to remove the billboard, referring to it as a “beautiful display of commercial art” that the people of Cleveland have the rare and wonderful opportunity to enjoy. He’s got that right. It’s also a bit of a reality check if you happen to be among a group of magazine editors arriving in the frigid city at night and pulling over to the side of the road to take in just how physically awesome the man is whom you’ll be playing against the next day. Let’s just say it makes you question some things.

Are You A Good Driver?

I just came home from running errands and I am frustrated like hell.  One thing has remained constant since I moved to Florida: my continued frustration with the way many people drive in Florida.

Honestly, how do you rate yourself as a driver?

Silly me.  I take that question back. Of course you rate yourself as being above average. It’s a well-known fact that all humans consider themselves to be above-average drivers. No amount of physical evidence will convince a bad driver that he or she is a bad driver.

 You take a driver who, while attempting to pull out of a parking space, mistakes “forward” for “reverse,” then, in an effort to correct this error, mistakes the accelerator for the brake and sends his car lunging across a sidewalk and into a diner whilst attaining a speed of 40 mph by the time it rams into the salad bar and car and driver are saturated by carafes of salad dressing.

Even as the paramedics are tweezing corn and peas from the ears and nose of the driver he will loudly insist that the restaurant was not there before and that there are plenty of people on the road who do not drive as well as he does.

And the scary thing is: he’s right! There are LOTS of worse drivers out there! In fact over 90% of all drivers are below average and most of them are here in Florida — I am not exaggerating – I have seen most of them! I don’t know what the driving experience is like in your state but it’s unusual in Florida.

 Florida seems to attract inferior drivers like a magnet.  In addition to this fatal attraction it seems to automatically issue a driver’s license to anyone who asks for one.  Ask and ye shall receive a Florida drivers license.  The “road” test is a joke – you don’t even go on the road.  Driver’s license road tests are pretty much taken in a supermarket parking lot and licenses are issued to seventeen year olds and seventy year olds as freely as Gatorade at a football game on a really hot day!

As someone who recently moved to Florida it STILL boggles my mind whenever I see a car accident and there was only one car involved with absolutely no traffic on the road – WTH!!!  Is it still an accident if there is only one car involved? Or is it a mishap, a mistake or simply a moronic episode?

But getting back to your driving ability – I can tell from the sympathetic way you’re reading this post that you truly are an above average driver.  So am I, of course.  Anyway, since you and I are such superior drivers, I wanted to share with you an excellent suggestion by Florida motorist Ana Garcia – her name was changed to protect this excellent driver.  Ana begins by noting the annoying behavior of certain motorists, especially the ones who drift aimlessly along in the left, or “passing” lane, mile after clueless mile, never passing anybody and never noticing the 5 mile back-up of cars behind them flashing their lights, honking their horns, making explicit hand gestures while firing marine flares.

2008 – An Unforgettable Year!

 Recently our 2008 eight-medal winning Olympic swimming champion smoked pot for the first time at a Michigan hotel.  His reaction was a bit boisterous – the stoned Phelps broke all the televisions in his room, but later bought exact replicas so he could replace them before anybody at the hotel was the wiser.  But we have to forgive Mr. Phelps since he’s been in training for most of his 23 years and this is the first time he has let loose.

Not too long ago we learned that Martha Stewart used a hand model for close-up shots in her latest book since she deemed her own hands too wrinkled. 

 Last week the still very, very sexy Susan Sarandon had her first face-lift. Susan is the mother of the statuesque and stunning 23 year old Eva Amurri.

We can’t speak of 2008 without talking politics, politics and more politics.  This year was filled with characters, clichés and catchphrases!

 It started early when Governor Spitzer of New York was identified as ‘Client # 9’ and ended in November when Jesse Jackson Jr. was identified as ‘Candidate # 5’ in the Governor Blagojevich investigation – you can’t make this stuff up!

 The year also started with a no drama Obama campaign and came full circle with an all drama Rahm Emanuel for Obama’s White House Chief-of-Staff.  Rahm gets the job done and that’s huge. It will be good to have a little ‘safe’ drama in the White House.  It’s only fair since Obama doesn’t give the late shows and comedians food for fodder – Rahm will.