I’ve been endlessly titillated by the news over the last couple weeks. In spite of rising cost of living, continued war in the Middle East, global warming, and plummeting stock markets, there has been room for lots of sex stories. In the interest of space and time, this post does not include the story about the DC transit workers who used the station and its P.A. system to set up a john with his transit cleaner-hooker. Nor the one about the two set of couples who pledged to have sex daily for three months in one instance, and one year in another! Below is a sampling to satisfy any palate:
“Magic Bus, Magic Bus, Magic Bus
Give me a hundred (Magic Bus)
I won’t take under (Magic Bus)
Goes like thunder (Magic Bus)
It’s a four-stage wonder (Magic Bus)”
Miami Beach police are not denying this bus bust is a true four-stage wonder!!! You can read the full article here http://www.newsweek.com/id/144102/page/2 or as first seen here at the Smoking Gun http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2008/0626081miami1.html.
-Meanwhile, churches across America are facing declining congregations so a few has employed radical measures to boost their membership. Leaders at New Directions Christian Church in Tennessee, Fellowship of the Woodlands in Texas, and Relevant Church in Florida have done the unthinkable: They have introduced SEX in their sermons and have regular seminars addressing the role of sex and pleasure in the married bedroom. Using biblical passages as their guide, these pastors are extolling the benefits of regular, adventurous marital sex to help keep the marriage alive and bring couples closer!!!! Egads! What’s next???? Check out the full article at http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1818197,00.html.
– On the other hand, to boost their attendance, brothels in Nevada are offering new incentives to customers: twofers for the first one hundred customers to show up with tax rebate check in hand. This story appears, completely without irony, in the business section of Newsweek magazine, linked here, http://www.newsweek.com/id/141848. With rising fuel, the houses of prostitution have seen a decline in visitors. This because Nevada ladies of the night are only allowed to hawk their trade outside of heavily populated neighborhoods, so many set up house in the desert. And, where before truckers could detour for a few gallons worth of fun it’s now become too costly an indulgence!!!! Sorry, ladies, we’re all affected by gas prices.
BUT, WAIT, HOW’S ABOUT THIS??? Truckers and their wives join one of the sex churches which then use the love bus to bring the hookers and the Japanese porn experts to the church for demonstrations on how to enhance their sex lives. Truckers get regular, divinely ordained sex as taught by professionals. Church population increases. The Bus-Bordello is put to use legally. Japanese seniors get paid to do what they do best, and prostitutes are gainfully employed for community service, thereby saving their own souls. Win-win all round…